Sawadee ka!

Greetings from beautiful Koh Chang ("Elephant Island"), Thailand! We've been here for 4 days and are (mostly) enjoying the downtime.  It is the last official week of the rainy season, so our beautiful sunny days have been occasionally interrupted by some storms. Overall, the sea is warm and calm, the weather is good and it is beautiful outside today.

Koh Chang is a rapidly-developing tropical island, and, if this is "low-season", I'm glad we aren't here (or some major tourist island like Koh Samui or Phi-Phi) during the high season.  It's pretty busy! The delicious food and lovely Thai hospitality that we've become accustomed to (in addition to the super low prices) has been replaced by jacked-up prices and generic Westernized food, and mostly brash or apathetic service. Pretty typical for a tourist destination...but makes me a bit sad. And longing for a remote, undiscovered island with smiling locals.

Unfortunately, Josh woke up sick the night before last and spent all of the day yesterday between his bed and the bathroom. We're not sure if it was/is a virus or bacteria from the pool, breakfast buffet or something that he ate? Anyway, he slept well last night and woke up hungry this morning, which I thought was a good sign...But he is still very fatigued and out-of-sorts.  I'm hopeful he will be feeling back to normal soon.

We've officially been on the road for 8 weeks today and are past the halfway point of this trip. Through the ups and the downs, I feel a wonderful sense of freedom. Freedom, not from responsibility or authority, not from housework or my job or getting Josh to the bus stop or getting dinner on the table. What I mean is that I feel comfortable in my own skin.

Ever since I was little, I have always been driven by a desire to please, a need to excel, achieve. I was very "in control" of everything.  I referred to it as "self-improvement."  Unfortunately, what it really meant, deep down inside my being, is that I never felt like I was good enough the way I was. I have always fought to be smarter, more successful, stronger, healthier.  You name it. My thighs are too jiggly, my teeth could be whiter, my shoulders are too broad, my nose too big. I would constantly over-analyze every conversation, every interaction, after-the-fact, wishing I would have said this or done that. Oh, and when I got married, I strove to be "the perfect wife."  When I had a child, it was "super mom." What the hell does that mean?  Supportive, fun, funny, stylish, independent, exciting, smart.  A good mom, but still an attentive and energetic wife. Loved by all, good cook.  Fit.  Beautiful...No wrinkles, no smells, no flaws. Happy. All. The. Time.

Exhausting.

Believe me, I didn't consciously do this. I didn't wake up thinking of all of the ways I was going to do these things. This was woven into my very being. It happened without thinking.

There were lots of (unwritten) rules to follow, I knew them all but never questioned them.

Those of you who know me know that I have been going through this self-discovery process for a while. While traveling, the same rules definitely do not apply. We aren't cooking, we aren't keeping up a house. We definitely aren't doing any entertaining. We meet people on the road, and sometimes they speak English, sometimes they don't.  Sometimes, Josh sleeps in his clothes. Sometimes we all wear the same clothes day after day after day. "Do I have to take a shower tonight, Mommy?" Hmmmmmm, given that we are going to be sweating bullets on a dirty train for 5 hours tomorrow, "No, you can skip it, sweetie." Sometimes we only eat once a day. Sometimes we have panda pops from the 7-11 for lunch. I haven't thought about carbs or fats or proteins or calories.  If there is food available, I eat what I want, when I'm hungry. Like I said, the same rules don't apply.  Sometimes, we don't shower.  My highlights have grown out and my hair is full of split ends. I didn't even bring makeup and my feet are calloused.  Sometimes, the only coffee is instant, and we just drink it. there are so many things out of our control. The bus is hot and the toilet doesn't work. Nobody washes their hands! I ran out of hand sanitizer and they don't sell it here. Sometimes we all go to bed at 8:00 and sometimes Josh stays up until 10:00 or 11:00. Sometimes we get on each other's nerves. Sometimes, we have to pay too much for something we need. Sometimes, things aren't what we expected or what we paid for. We definitely can't control everything. And we are all just fine. Great, actually.

The thing is, I feel connected with the world when I see that, no matter where we are, or what language we speak, we are all essentially similar. We are all trying to be or control something. We are all following some kind of "rules." The western women are all trying to get a tan and the Thai women are all covered in the shade and paying top dollar for lightening creams on their skin.

I'm not saying that all of the rules are wrong. I'm not saying that "self-improvement" is wrong. Growth is healthy, I believe. But, being on the road has given me the ability to examine a lot of the beliefs that, quite honestly, just don't fit me anymore.  I'm ready to throw them out. Fortunately, Todd and Josh like me just the way I am. I'd like to believe that the rest of my family, my friends and my co-workers do too.  And I love me too, just how I am.  Jiggly thighs, coffee-stained teeth, split ends, stinky pits, dirty feet and all.  

Flip flops, Temples and Lemongrass

Todd and his fancy coffee in Chiang Mai

We've gotten off the radar for a bit, which is quite easy to do in Southeast Asia. After we left Siem Reap, we took the long train trip back to Bangkok. This time, we felt like "pros" at the border crossing and breezed through. We met a nice man on the train who was practicing his English (Mr. Siree). In his proud words, "I speak English every day." He really was interested in Josh (everyone here seems to be!), and engaged him in conversation until Josh was exhausted and then he switched over to Todd. Todd was so patient with him and Mr. Siree was elated. He said genuinely, "I like you very much."  So, despite the extreme heat, and the long, bumpy ride, we enjoyed the trip back to Bangkok.

We stayed the night in an Airbnb (my new favorite mode of accommodating worldwide) not far from the train station, since we had plans to take the overnight train to Chiang Mai from the same station the very next night. The place was a small, industrial private apartment with super cold a/c in a very residential area of Bangkok. There were street food vendors all around, along with plenty of dogs and cats...We had a great dinner at a small hole-in-the-wall rooftop restaurant, then slept well and made our way to the train station the following morning. Although our train didn't leave until 7:00 pm, we wanted to store our bags for the day and check to see if we could change our tickets to have beds near each other on the sleeper car (which we did). It was rainy that day so we went to the Siam area of Bangkok which is the major upscale shopping district, with mall after mall. We enjoyed the cool and dry respite, but had zero interest in shopping. Being in those malls really highlighted the huge disparity between the "haves" and the "have nots" in Thailand, and honestly, I prefer and feel much more at ease among the fruit markets and street stalls in the old town.

Our overnight train was pretty exciting. We had 3 of the 4 bunks to ourselves for the first two hours or so and then, just as we were settling into our beds, a lone backpacker joined on the remaining top bunk. I slept ok, although I was aware all nights of the rattling noise of the train cars and the overhead light which could not be dimmed. Earplugs and an eye mask helped, but I was glad when it was morning and I could finally get out of bed. Josh and Todd were also awake, with Josh claiming that he didn't fall asleep at all. Not sure if I believed him, but we all were tired for sure. At that point, we were in northern Thailand and could see the mountains all around us. The views coming into Chiang Mai were stunning and I immediately fell in love with the town.

We stayed in a small guest house in the walled old city, a short walk to almost everything. Our host, MoMo, is from China and had agreed to care for the business for her friend while he joined his wife in the US to welcome their new baby. The inn was very basic and lacking in more than a few ways, but it was super cheap and adequate for us. MoMo is a kind, adventurous young person and I enjoyed getting to know her very much. We compared notes on our various adventures and she gave us tips for our time in Chiang Mai. We were the only ones staying at the inn for most of our time there. I realize now that I didn't take many pictures while out and about in Chiang Mai and I think it's because I didn't feel like a "tourist" there. It felt like a second home almost and I was at ease.

We spent the day of Josh's 7th birthday on an all day tour with the Elephant Nature Park, a fantastic organization committed to rescuing mistreated elephants and providing them with a good home for their retirement. The experience was life-changing for all of us and we are enjoying brain-storming the ways we can help the elephants once we return to Durham!

We spent another day in Chiang Mai exploring a cool museum called Art in Paradise where the art is painted on the walls and floors to create 3-D images that make for good photographs. We had a blast and got a few really good shots, mostly of Josh. We also went to a local pool a couple of times, and survived the big night market on Sunday. We spent a lot of time just chilling out and had many amazing meals.

The next leg of our plans was to Laos and we already had booked plane tickets from Bangkok. Unfortunately, the budget airline we booked on did not allow changes in departure city, so we had to get back to Bangkok in order to get that flight. We found another cheap and quick flight there from Chiang Mai and arrived in Luang Prabang, Laos on the 18th.

We are staying at the Mekong Sunset View Hotel right on the edge of the Mekong River and the view is beautiful. The town of Luang Prabang is small (but growing exponentially) and became a world heritage site in 2009. The old town is easily walkable and follows the bends of the river. There are countless beautiful temples and the Buddhist monks collect alms (usually sticky rice made each morning by the villagers) at sunrise each day along the main street. We learned a bit about the culture and the alms are given by the people not just to help support the monks, but also to "earn merit" for the giver (either for the good of their family or their reincarnation).

We explored the temples yesterday and had lunch at Tamarind, a restaurant that specializes in typical Lao cuisine. We had a some "samplers," which included rice cakes, dried mushrooms, bamboo chips, Aw Gai Ban (a stew made with chicken bones cut to release the marrow), Or Lam (eggplant stew), Lao sausage and, of course, no Lao meal is complete without the sticky rice. My favorite Lao food so far, Kai Pen, is a "cracker" made from Mekong river weed that is dried, seasoned with lemongrass and sesame and then fried. It's amazing! The currency in Laos is the Lao Kip, which unfortunately doesn't not have much value. 10,000 kip is about $1.23, so we are still getting used to paying 100,000+ kip for dinner (a mere $12 or so)!

Yesterday afternoon, we climbed to the top of Phu Si (a small "mountain" in the middle of town) for a stellar view of the sunset. In the evening, we went to the Gravelak, a storytelling event with music and Lao folktales. Our favorite tales were of the old king's mischievous and clever son, Xiang Miang. The stories were told in English by a Lao man and accompanied by singing and music on the drum and Laotian khene (a wind instrument made from bamboo).

We have a strong wifi signal today (yay!), so we are catching up on news, blogging, and Josh is doing his schoolwork (his teacher recommended an app we all love called IXL). Later today we have plans to take a boat on the river and I am hoping to get to an evening yoga class. We have a few more days in Laos and then we head back to Thailand for a "vacation". We have plans to spend a week on the beach on the island of Koh Chang, no sightseeing and no schoolwork. As this is the last week of "monsoon season," keep your collective fingers crossed for good weather.

Things We love about Traveling
new foods
meeting people
using foreign languages / currencies
simplifying life (Josh says he likes wearing the same clothes over and over)
transportation modes
doing with less
tropical fruits
local handicrafts
walking everywhere
quality time with the family

Things We Don't Like
lack of hand washing facilities
mosquitos
scams
lots of smoking
hard sell / harassment by tuk-tuk drivers

Things We Miss
friends and family
cooking at home
easy-to-do laundry
oatmeal
California IPAs
Amazon Prime (?)
having space for yoga
personal space
date nights / babysitters
reliable "anything" (air-conditioning, electricity, wifi)

Things We don't miss
makeup
chores
yard work
getting mail
closet full of clothes
driving

Angkor Temples and Siem Reap

On our first morning in Cambodia, we went into the old town area of Siem Reap to do some laundry, get breakfast and explore. The main drag "Pub Street" kind of reminds me of Key West (except for the lack of roads here and all the mud). Sales pitches are relentless throughout the town, cries of "ladeeeee, you want t-shirt" following us everywhere we went. In the afternoon, Josh and I took a Khmer (Khmer just means "Cambodian") pottery class, taught by 2 young men who couldn't speak or hear, but have learned how to teach on behalf of the cooperative. They guided us, taught us how to use the manual pottery wheel and we each made 5 pieces.  The class included one piece for each of us that they dried, glazed and fired in the kiln. It was so much fun and I think both Josh and I have more throwing clay in our futures!

Yesterday we visited the Angkor temples.  We signed up for the "short tour," which was a private tuk-tuk that would take us to Angkor Wat, Angkor Thom, Ta Kao and Ta Prohm (along with a few others that we elected not to visit because TF - "temple fatigue"- had already set in).  Mr. Bunlorng, our driver, was supposed to pick us up at 8:00 am. While we were finishing our breakfast around 7:30, the sky opened up and the bottom fell out. Pouring rains accompanied our visit to Angkor Wat.  The rains slowed mid-morning, and by noon it was hot and super humid. Angkor Wat is massive, the largest of the temples, with intricate carvings throughout. Angkor Thom is known for the faces carved into the sides and Ta Prohm is the "one from Tomb Raider." (It rented for $10,000 USD per day during filming.) I think I enjoyed Ta Kao the best.  It was the smallest, the oldest (built in 10th century) and the tallest. We climbed almost 100 steep stairs to each the top, from which we had a gorgeous view. We learned that Angkor Wat was built and dedicated originally as a Hindu temple, but shifted to Buddhist and is still used for worship by Buddhists today. There were many offerings and shrines to Buddha throughout the temples. A one-day ticket to visit the temples is $20, but apparently only about 1/4 of the money from ticket sales goes into restoration of the monuments. Actually, most of the restoration project funds come from foreign aid. We noticed that Ta Kao is being restored by China and Ta Prohm is being restored by India in collaboration with Cambodia.

We returned to the hotel to clean up and have lunch and a giant monsoon hit while we were in still in the room. Strong winds and heavy rains led to a small downpour in our ceiling, which eventually grew much larger until we worried that the roof would cave in on us.  One of the staff helped us get moved into another room a few doors down.  Later yesterday evening, during a lull in the storm, we took a tuk-tuk down to town and had dinner at the best little Cambodian restaurant...I'm attaching some pics, we all loved it!

Today we walked across the bridge over the Siem Reap River to a little cafe nearby for breakfast and have spent the rest of the day in and around the pool. We met a couple of families visiting from Bangalore and also 2 couples from Australia. We plan to go into Siem Reap town later tonight for dinner and will leave tomorrow morning to head back to Thailand. We have one night in Bangkok (!) and then go north by overnight train to our next destination. I will likely post again once we reach Chiang Mai and get settled in.